This corner of the British Egg Information Service (BEIS) website is just for kids so we can be as silly as we want and go crazy with our ridiculous egg jokes and daft stories!
Here are some we thought might 'crack' you up!
Q. Who is the best egg Chef?
A. Egg-On Ronay!
Q. Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
A. Because it wanted to lay it on the line!
Q. Who wore the first shell suit?
A. Humpty Dumpty!
Q. What time do hens get up?
A. The quack of dawn!
Q. How do eggs sell newspapers?
A. Eggstra, Eggstra, Read All About It!
Q. How does the Chicken fit its shell?
A. Egg-sactly!!
Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken witha martian?
A. An eggs-traterrestrial!
Q. How do chickens visit their friends?
A. They use National Eggs-press coaches!
Q. What happens if you mix up a computer manual with a cook book?
A. You get an Egg-Shell spreadsheet!!
I was on holiday in France and bought some bread and eggs in the village, when I got to the counter I decided not to get the eggs, just the bread. I thought I'd given the assistant enough money, but she said no. I asked "why?" She pointed to the bread and said "because it's not an oeuf"
Q. Why don't eggs ever buy singles?
A. Because they're albumen!
Q. Why did the egg peeler hate his job?
A. He Felt like he was walking on egg shells all the time!
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Egbert. Egbert Who? Egg but no bacon!
A blonde husband wanted to learn how to make an omelette. He was told that to start he had to seperate two eggs, so he put one in the kitchen and one in the hall!
Q. What did the hen say when she laid a bright pink egg?
A. Why that's Eggstraordinary!
Q. Where would you find a chicken with no legs?
A. Where you left it!!
Q. How do you cook an egg on a summers day?
A. Sunny side up!!
Q. Why did the egg go to Switzerland?
A. To go Yokelling!!!
Q. What did Snow White call her chicken?
A. Egg White!
Q. How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach?
A. Just one, because then your stomach won't be empty!
Q. What kind of egg lives by the sea?
A. An egg shell!
Q. What do you call a mischevious egg?
A. A Practical Yoker!!
Q. What did the egg do when the other egg told it a joke?
A. It cracked up!
Q. Why did the Egg hide?
A. He was a little chicken!
Q. What did the chick say when his mum laid an orange?
A. Look what marmalade!
Q. What do chickens grow on?
A. Eggplants!
Q. What's the difference between a soldier and a fireman?
A. You can't dip a fireman in an egg
Q. How long does it take an egg to cook?
A. It depends what its cooking!
There were two eggs being boiled in a saucepan. One egg said 'owch it's hot in here...' The other egg said 'arghhhh!! A talking egg!!'
Q:What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
A:An Egg.
Did you hear the one about the egg?
It's not all it's "cracked" up to be!
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Omelette.
Omelette who?
Omelette smarter than I look
What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
An eggs-plorer!
What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?
New Yolk City!
What do you get when you put a Tasmanian Devil in a chicken coop?
Deviled eggs!
Where did the chicken go on her vacation?
Sandy Eggo!
Who wrote Great Eggspectations?
Charles Chickens
What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
An eggs-plorer!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the rooster egged her on!!
What day do chickens hate the most?
Fry-day!
Why did the naked Egg cross the road?
To get to the Shell Station
What website do eggs love?
egg-cite.co.uk
At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boy's ear.
"There!" he said proudly. "I bet your Mum can't produce eggs without hens, can she?"
"Oh yes, she can," said the boy. "She keeps ducks."
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.
What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg?
First it goes ping, then it goes pong.
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The jokes that are really funny will get to go on this page so everybody can appreciate the fun. Every joke we publish will get the winner a fun inflatable egg cup. The best joke every month will win a cuddly Lion.
Simply e-mail your jokes (UK entrants only) via our contact form: Contact the BEIS
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